Down the College Search Path
Alice: “Which way do I go?”
Cheshire Cat: “That depends on where you are going.”
Alice: “I don’t know.”
Cheshire Cat: “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”
Lewis Carroll – Alice in Wonderland
Any parent, counselor, or high school student starting down the college search path can relate to Alice’s question: “Which way should I go?” However, when it comes to the college search, even if teens do not know exactly where they are going, it does matter which way they decide to go.
Today, students have a wide range of tools to help them find colleges and universities where they will succeed academically. They can also look for places where they will be engaged in the campus community and feel prepared for a career or graduate school.
Even if teens think they know which schools they want to attend, they should still do their due diligence. Institutions and people change. What was once important at a certain school might not be relevant, or might not even exist, when a student walks onto that campus as a freshman.
For example, my daughter Brittany dreamed for years of studying theatre at Yale. After visiting Yale’s campus during her sophomore year in high school, she realized it would not be the right place for her.
Starting the college search process
Just as every student learns differently, each student needs to individualize his or her search. Many parents ask when they should start having conversations with their teen about the college search. The answer depends on the student, but waiting until junior or senior year is probably a bit late.
There are many ways to start the exploration process in middle school, and they do not have to be high‑pressure. College campuses are wonderful places to explore.
They are usually well landscaped and often have exhibits, concerts, sporting events, and more. Check local college websites to see if there are reasons to visit nearby campuses. Even if there are no special events, take a walk through the campus and maybe take some family photos.
When visiting the University of the Pacific in Stockton, California, a few months ago, there were many families on campus taking photos and using the college’s beautiful landscaping as a backdrop. These simple visits can help younger students feel more comfortable on college campuses later.
10 questions to start a college search
If your student is a sophomore or first‑semester junior in high school, you might want to review the following questions from a Forbes article by Chris Teare entitled “10 Questions to Start a College Search.” He credits the questions to If the U Fits from The Princeton Review and Collegewise.
These questions are not simple, and you do not need to answer them all in one evening or even a single weekend. Instead, create a plan with your child to start discussing them over time. Remember that answers may change as your teen learns more about colleges. Think of these questions as a guide, not as strict rules.
College admissions is a process. Listen a lot and advise when appropriate.
1. Why do you want to go to college?
E.M. Forster once wrote, “How do I know what I think until I see what I say?” It is a useful idea for anyone making a big decision. Ask your teen to write down the answer and then look at it. “My parents expect me to” is not inspiring enough to sustain four years of effort.
2. Do you think you are ready to go to college?
Graduating from high school in May or June does not mean a student must start college a few months later. Gap year programs have grown in popularity and can provide a valuable year “on” a different kind of learning.
Some students, especially young men and aspiring college athletes, also benefit from a postgraduate year at a boarding school. The additional time to mature academically, athletically, or socially can make a big difference.
3. How have you done your best learning?
Students do not need a diagnosed learning difference to have a preferred learning style. Some colleges emphasize small‑seminar discussion. Others rely more on large lectures. Still others focus on hands‑on work through labs, internships, and co‑op programs.
Talk with your teen about what works best for them.
4. What would you like to learn more about?
Teens often feel pressure to choose a major too soon. In reality, many students start as “Undecided,” and most change majors at least once.
Begin with simple questions. What subjects or topics are intriguing? What makes your teen genuinely curious? Apart from liking certain teachers, which classes are their favorites?
5. How hard do you want to work academically?
Some colleges are known for intense workloads; others are more relaxed. Most fall somewhere in between. Within any college, some majors are also more demanding than others.
Ask your teen how much of their four years they want to spend studying. This honest answer will help them find the right academic environment.
6. Do you have any idea what you want to do with your life?
This question can feel overwhelming. One way to make it easier is to encourage your teen to shadow professionals in different careers or to take part in internships.
Seeing what adults do all day in various fields can help students imagine how their education might connect to future work.
7. What would you like to do on a typical Tuesday night in college? What about a typical Saturday night?
Weeknights and weekends can feel very different on campus. Some schools have a “work hard / play hard” culture. Others are known as “stone‑cold sober” campuses. A few are proud of being “party schools.”
If your teen visits a campus overnight, try to schedule it for a Tuesday and have them attend classes on Wednesday morning. This gives a more realistic sense of day‑to‑day life.
8. Do you want to go to a college in a place that is different or similar to where you live now?
Look around your current community. Does your teen want more of the same or something completely different?
Some students cannot imagine life without a beach. Others want the energy of a big city. Many prefer a suburban balance: a beautiful campus with easy access to an urban center.
9. Do you want to be with students who are like you or different from you?
This question involves comfort zones. Some students feel drawn to affinity groups, such as women’s colleges, men’s colleges, schools with strong religious affiliations, or Historically Black Colleges and Universities. Others want a more diverse mix of peers.
10. What is your family’s college budget?
After exploring many personal and academic questions, it is important to address the financial side. Different families have different resources, so honest conversations about what is affordable are essential.
Setting clear parameters early helps everyone. It also keeps the college search focused on options that make sense for your family.
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